Day 2: Bandits and Wolves and Deer, Oh My!

I wake up to another wonderful day, prepared to scrape a living from plants. Until I notice that I'm....

....in a different bed?

Yep. Upon walking downstairs and talking to the innkeeper, I'm standing in Silverhome on the Water. Puzzlingly, I apparently bought a room last night for twenty septims, a fact reflected by my current wealth of only 8 gold. Even more puzzlingly, Silverhome on the Water is located in Bravil!

Judging by the above map, Dunmarik has either mastered the art of sleep teleporation, or I had way to much ale and forgot the part of the night where I walked across half of Cyrodiil without a shirt on. Either way, I won't let this strange and puzzling fact stop me, and vow to continue trying to get by picking flowers and selling them, while getting the bejezus scarred out of me by bandits carrying Dwarfish machinery.

But first, I need to sell that iron axe from the previously mentioned machinery-carrying bandit. I head into the conveniently located fair deal. I've never really liked misnomers, and only giving me half of what I instantly know that axe should really sell for, while charging 1.5 times the normal price to buy the same item, hardly seems anything like a "fair deal" to me.

But that's alright. I've got ways to make em' talk. A quick audio course in THE VOICE OF THE EMPEROR sets the lady straight, and using her newfound liking of me, as well as my shrewd business skills, I manage to sell the axe for a gold more than I would have before. True fact: The emperors voice is a great power indeed. And with a great power, comes the ability to only use it once a day. Hopefully no one else needs me to like them today.

I head outside to this stunning view:

It's all very symbolic, really. The long winding path, showing that I have a long way to go in life. The nearby trees as points of interest that I'll be-BY THE NINE DIVINES DO YOU SEE ALL OF THOSE PLANTS ON THE RIGHT?

I merrily stride towards them at a non-brisk walk, picking all of their vendorable goodness.

I continue heading to the north east, finding a couple mushrooms, until I stumble across a bedroll staked next toe the coast of the river, with a couple bottles of beer laying around next to it. The place is deserted, so it's entirely probable I've found my next sleeping location (Hopefully this one won't teleport me to the other side of the world).

Continuing up the rolling hills, it occurs to me that the rolling hills really don't have anything in the way of ingredients. I orient myself back towards the road, and start heading back up there. After reaching the road, and following it up a hill, I see a rather unpleasant sight.

See that green thing wearing fur? It's carrying twenty-two pounds of low quality iron that would very much like to have a word with my skull.

I make an executive decision and turn around and run for my life. I haven't found many friendlies on the roads these days, but that doesn't stop me. My steed birthsign choice pays off as I can easily outrun her. I stumble into 2 fine fellows who are both wearing chainmail and whose nametag reads "Imperial Guard _____". The last word escapes me, but all that matters is that these people are going to show that ugly orc who the good guys are (Hint: It's not the Orc). They both start clobbering her, and I dash in to get just close enough to see that she's a "Barbarian". Right before she is about to die, she takes a page out of my book and runs away from us. Suddenly feeling brave with two armed guardsman backing me up, I chase after her, slinging small flares as she flees. My aim is terrible, and my magic is little, so I am forced to give up the chase.

Unfortunately, while turning around to walk back to the main road, I find myself being bitten by a wolf. Wolves. Why does it always have to be wolves? I plunge my dagger into it's eye socket (Well not really, but "I slash it's fur a couple times until it falls to the ground" doesn't sound quite as impressive) and loot it's high value wolf pelt. It also has a bone. I don't really want that, honestly.

Walking back up the same road, looking for more ingredients, I find something ELSE in my back, this time twenty-two pounds of iron. I'm really tired of these flanking attacks. Dunmarik should buy himself some mirrored sunglasses. He'd look stylin'.

                                                     Who knows, one day, maybe as awesome as Squirtle
Anyways, back to the fight. I know this barbarian chick is pretty weak, because she fled last time because she was so low on health. One power attack from my dagger proves this theory, as she runs away again. Roadhouse!

Continuing up this trouble-strewn road, another wolf spots me from above and starts to run after me. I blast it in the face with 4 straight flares, causing it to run away. I am Dunmarik, terrorizer of wolves and bandits!

Finally, at a spot that I presume to be the place where I first saw the orc barbarian, I climb to the top of the hill and see two corpses. Apparently it was a two man team of an outlaw bandit and an outlaw hedge wizard. I'm just about to help myself to the loot when I feel thirty-nine pounds of steel hammer hit my spine. I turn around to see yet another Orc barbarian, this one a male. I'm pretty pissed off at these people by this time, and I draw my dagger and begin the fight. Blocking a warhammer with a dagger will still cause your enemy to stagger as he his you, by the way. The fight goes on, with me blocking as he swings and getting in 3 or so quick hits while he staggers, mixing it up with point blank flares just cause. He voices his opinion on my fighting skills as we duel, comparing me unfavorably to a mudcrab. I don't really know how to take that, having never heard of a mudcrab. If only someone in town would just talk about them once or twice...sigh...I guess I'll never know. Finally, the barbarian lies dead, with me still at half health.

I take the barbarians steel warhammer and fur armor, as well as the robes and armor of the dead outlaws. One of them has an apple on him, which reminds me that it's almost 7 and I have neither eaten breakfast, nor lunch, nor do I have any food except the apple for dinner.

This prohibits returning to my beer filled shoreline campsite, and I decide I'll forge ahead until I find a suitable inn.

While swerving off the beaten path for some ingredients,  I look back at the road from behind a rock to see my dinner:

 Wonderful! I could really go for some venison too. I draw the bow I got from the late outlaw archer, draw it, and after three missed shots, hit the deer straight in the side.

Unfortunately, the persistent bastard doesn't even flinch as it sprints up the road, away from me and my poor archery skills. I toss a few flares in vain, but I had missed my chance at some tasty deer meat for dinner. Heading up the road, it gets darker and darker, and I consider sprinting back to my my bedroll by the river, or even back to Silverhome on the water. But there is hope, for my magical Imperial senses have locked on to the fact that there is an Inn very nearby!

Thankful for the respite, I saunter up to the Inn, and talk to the barkeep. He seems pretty surprised that a customer is here, and I can't blame him. With a name like "The Inn of Ill Omen", on the road outside a small, poor town, you aren't exactly going to be raking in the customers. I sell him all of my picked plants (He doesn't buy pre-owned fur armor or bloody hammers for reason I don't understand), and buy some tasty ham. I sit down at the table and eat them in, like, literally two seconds. Talking to him again, I ask how much a room is. To my delight, he's only charging 10 gold! I pay the fine man, and head up to my room, only to find that...well....

The room sucks. The Brina Cross in was twice this size, and was actually a bed, as opposed to a bedroll on the hard wooden floor. The few people who do stay here aren't exactly going to be giving their friends glowing reviews for the place.

At 9:30, I decide I really should be getting some sleep. Glad that I'm safe and sound in this inn, and knowing that I don't have to worry about any dark brotherhood murders killing me as some sick type of initiation, I settle in to get a good nights rest.

Day 1

After a rained-on lunch of beef I bought from that stuck up snob at the counts arms before storming out, I contemplate my lot in life:

 Now, off to the outside I go! I wander off hoping for a nice, safe day of scavenging, ingredient picking, and hopefully, somewhere to sleep.

Oddly, I find the latter first, a fine establishment called the Brina Cross Inn. I don't waste time going in yet, as it's not even noon.

Wandering around, I see something moving through the grass ahead of me. I ready my flare spell, and jump out of the tall grass to see....horses?

I leave them be. They look scary, anyways. Further up into the country side, I turn look around the other side, to see not one, but two canines. First, a wolf, which isn't that bad, and then, a guard dog, which most certainly is. I draw my rusty iron dagger and slaughter them both with it, as well as a healthy dose of fireball. (Okay, more like flares, but that doesn't sound nearly as cool.) It isn't until I feel an arrow in my shoulder that I realize the only people who have dogs in Cyrodiil are evil bandits, marauders or vampires.

                                                                       Pictured: OH SHIIII-
I turn around, and sprint as fast as I possibly can back towards the road. By the way, the fastest I can sprint is really, really quick. Who knew being born under the steed could be practical?

By the time I'm back at the road, the bandit lady is still following me, and I realize that this is not the time for running. I must stand my ground. Well...sorta. Backpedaling and flinging flares in her face, then closing and finishing with the dagger is a deadly tactic. She falls to a blow across the chest.

These are tough economic times in Cyrodiil, and Dunmarik is not above looting the corpses of others to meet ends meet. She is apparently a bandit "carrier", and one thing she isn't carrying is worthwhile loot. Just fur armor, an axe, and a dwarven cog. I tried to drop it, but I can't seem to let go of the stupid thing. Whatever.

Classy and stylish. No doubt about it. After going to the Brina Cross Inn, the only people are some well dressed tall chick in blue, and a shorter chick in brown. They didn't want to talk about themselves. Heh, I'm sure they don't even have a point in the game. Anyways, after a quick dinner, I rent my room and take inventory of what I've got. Only 10 gp left from my various ingredient and war axe sales. Tommorow better be productive.

I settle in to bed, and plan for a nice 12 hour sleep.

An Imperial is I+Night 1

Now here we are! Now that the silly rules and other foolishness are out of the way, we get to the good stuff.

Instead of starting in the sewers, like a lame old adventure, the Main Quest Delayer starts me off on a ship that has just landed in Anvil, and immediately asks for my race, class, and birthsign choices.

Naturally, I pick Imperial, because I'm just that unimaginative, and I like having a charm spell.

For maximum uselessosity, I choose the steed as my birthsign, because I hope I won't be running much.

Major skill picks were pretty *ahem* minor. Ahahahaahaha! Blade, block, speech, mercantile, restoration, heavy armor, and athletics.

So here we have him, in all of his glory. Ladies and Gentlemen: Dunmarik Septius!

I look around, I appear to have just woken up from bed. There's a dining table in the room next to me, which looks like it's made for my room. I take a little bit of the food, but not the cutlery. That would be rude.

Now then, upon getting off the boat, I realize that it's 1 in the freakin' morning, and I need somewhere to sleep. I check out The Flowing Bowl, but neither of the snarky twin elf brothers will rent me a bed. Fine, screw them, I'll see what's on offer in the actual city. Stupid elves.

I see some ingredients floating around, but I lack the alchemy skill to pick some things off a vine, so I don't get anything. Man, this isn't my day. Or....night. Whatever.

I stumble into the gated city, and notice a surprising amount of guards patrolling around. I ask a friendly looking one for directions to a place to sleep. He recommends I travel to an inn called the Counts Arms.

I heed his directions, and find myself looking at a nice Redguard named Wilbur who offers me a room he describes as very nice. But the guy wants 25 gold for a night! I'm not made of money here, man! I've only got 18 gold, an apple, some food I found on the boat, a crappy dagger, and some clothes to my name. Not that he'd buy anything except the apple. Whatever, maybe I can charm him with the voice of the emporer, then see if he'll buy the food so I can sleep for the night. Charming isn't enough, so I start to initiate the persuasion mini game, and instead of pressing start, what do I do but click bribe instead.

"I'll take that, and thank you very much"

Hey, screw you, buddy. You can keep that unintentionally given gold and shove it.

Furious, I step out of the establishment, to find I'm at only 8 gold now, and the previously mentioned items. I decide that I'm going to spend the rest of this awful night scrounging around this stupid town for something, anything, that I can sell. It's not stealing if they leave it outside, or if it's growing outside. Kinda. Good enough for this pissed-off Imperial.

After a harvest of pumpkins, tobacco plants, and a couple grapes, I find it's finally light outside, and I can forge a life for myself in the outside world.

Da Rules!

As an NPC, I follow different rules and standards then those stalwart adventures that scour the land for treasure. Here are my guidelines:

I must eat and sleep.  This makes a lot of sense, and, with Primary Needs, not eating and sleeping causes attribute loss, and eventually health loss.

I must avoid quests if at all possible. You ever wonder why people always throw their problems at you, expecting you to fix everything? It's because no one else will help them. That's right, non player characters don't want to help people. It's scary! It's dangerous. They could die. So while some old guy sits in an inn asking for someone to help defend his farm against monsters, I'll be sitting and wondering who around here would be brave enough for such a strong monster.

I must only run in a situation where someone would actually be running. How many NPC's have you seen running around inside a town? Unless, of course, there is a psychopath on the loose, I'm willing to bet none. Even on the main roads, rarely are people running. Thus, I shall only be running in combat, or other situations that I deem sufficient important.

And there are the three rules. Next: Character creation and my first night!

Welcome to Cyrodilic Living!

First off: This blog is about pretending to be a NPC in the game The Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion.

I am not the first one to think of this concept, nor the first one to make a blog about it.

Check out http://livinginoblivion.wordpress.com/, for the person who gave me the original idea. He doens't seem to have the time to update anymore, or at least does so very infrequently.

I aim to continue this proud and storied tradition of playing characters in the most mundane way possible in a game that throws adventure at you at every turn!

Next, my mods.

Many of these mods came from the writer of Living Oblivion, the primary reason being that the choices he made in mods are good for playing an npc.

Primary Needs: http://www.tesnexus.com/downloads/file.php?id=3369
Modular Oblivion Enhanced: http://www.tesnexus.com/downloads/file.php?id=7902
         Specifically, Main Quest Delayer, as well as Teleportation Magic and Icarian Flight
Crowded Roads Revisited: http://www.tesnexus.com/downloads/file.php?id=20575
Mart's Monster Mod: http://www.tesnexus.com/downloads/file.php?id=14442

Mods that don't (Or shouldn't) be noticed playing Oblivion like an NPC:
AFK_Weye
Summon Chest
Quest Award Leveler
Attack and Hide
Akatosh Mount
Recastable Summons
Midas Magic

In addition have all of Oblivion's normal DLC (Except Battlehorn Castle). (As in, the stuff made by Bethesda, that you have to pay for)

Coming soon (Very soon): The "rules" that I'll be playing by